


And I'll Walk Away a Fool or a King

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Falling for You [9]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Family, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-19
Updated: 2013-02-19
Packaged: 2017-11-29 19:10:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/690450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“How can it be love if you don’t stick it out during the tough times?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	And I'll Walk Away a Fool or a King

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from the Billy Joel song, A Matter of Trust. This could definitely be one of their songs.

“Hey Will!”

John Barton walked out of the sheriff’s station on Route 101. Winter was officially in Newberry five days before Christmas and the temperature had dropped significantly. It was also snowing; they were calling for seven inches by morning. He pulled his black skully hat down over his bald head and ears. Will LaMontagne looked back as he threw his gym bag into the back seat of his SUV.

“Yeah?”

“I know this weather isn’t ideal but you want to go out and grab a beer.”

“You're right about the weather not being ideal.” Will replied.

“Its just a little flurry.” John smiled. “We’re not gonna get the real deal until overnight. Still won't be enough to close the schools I bet.”

“It’d have to be a blizzard to close the schools. A beer might be nice though. Bet my wife is pouring over her laptop working on a story. She won't be looking for me just yet.”

“Great,” John smiled. “I’ll meet you at The Elbow in about 20 minutes.”

Mmm hmm.” The Cajun nodded and climbed into his car.

John walked over to his car. It had been a long day, they were all long days, but he’d finally gotten up the courage to talk to someone. This wasn’t going to be easy. He’d have to swallow some of his pride. 

Starting the ignition, John checked his rearview mirror before pulling his truck out of the parking space. The shift was changing; there were plenty of deputies and detectives roaming the parking lot. It was cold as hell but it was always cold in New England in the winter. No one seemed to be bothered by it. 

The traffic on 101 wasn’t heavy but it was steady. It was just after six so people were driving in from Manchester and even Boston where they worked. John listened to The Eagles on the radio as he moved down the road. Some still didn’t know how to drive in this weather. It was a combination of bad driving and cars that weren't properly equipped for snow. 

He had no idea how you could live around here with a car not equipped for snow or ice. John suddenly wondered if Kate’s car would be alright. She was from Buffalo, which actually got more snow than Newberry. Still her minivan was old and had already died on her a couple of times since getting to town.

Parking a half block from the bar, John got out of his car thinking about that. He walked down to The Elbow and spoke to a few locals who talked to him. The bar was warm inside; he appreciated that as he made his way to a table. Will came in right behind him and joined him.

“Hey guys.” Bobbi smiled as she approached the table. “You want some appetizers?”

“Chicken wings would be great Bobbi.” Will smiled. “Did you get a haircut?”

“You didn’t have to be a crackerjack detective to figure that out. You like it?”

“I do…but you know I got a thing for cheeky blondes.”

“What about you Detective Barton?” Bobbi asked.

“Oh um…it’s a lovely haircut Bobbi.” He smiled.

“No, I meant did you want an appetizer or something to start?”

“I’ll just have a lager thanks. I can share with LaMontagne.”

“You’ve obviously never seen him eat.” Bobbi grinned. “You're having the usual Detective?”

“Yes ma'am…Jack Daniels please.”

“You got it.” she sashayed away and Will watched her. 

Bobbi was a gorgeous girl, the whole town knew it. She was flirty and enjoyed being that way. Most people didn't know she was sweet at her core. She didn’t show it to many folks and didn’t care what the others thought. 

She was also madly in love with Kyle Ryan and had been for years. They were mostly together and usually happy. That didn’t stop her from being friendly and flirty with most of the male patrons of the bar. It made her job easier; the hours went by faster.

“How do you do that?” John asked with a smile.

“What?” Will asked.

“I don't know…flirt?”

“I'm not flirting, just having conversation.” He said.

“I don’t have that kind of conversation.”

“It’s a Big Easy thing.”

“New Orleans must be a very interesting place.” John said.

“It’s like no place else on earth, believe me.”

“That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Are you thinking of taking a vacation? The tourist industry is still booming down there and it’s off season so you'd get some great prices on luxury hotels right in the Quarter. John, I've known you for a few years now…you’ve never taken a vacation. I think this is a good thing.”

“It’s not about a vacation Will.”

“Oh.”

“A whiskey with a beer back.” Bobbi came over and put down Will’s order. “And here’s a lager for Detective Barton. Those wings will be up in 10.”

“Thanks Bobbi.” Both men smiled.

“I need to talk to you about something slightly uncomfortable.” John said when she was out of earshot.

“This seems to happen to me a lot.” Will grinned, taking his shot and putting the empty glass on the table.

“You're not from around here. That’s a good thing, and you're good people. Sometimes it’s just easier to talk to someone who doesn’t know every damn thing about you. At least people think they know everything about you…but they don’t.”

“Good old Newberry.” Will smirked while he sipped his beer.

“When you moved here and first met Jennifer Jareau, what was that like?”

“I was on the job,” Will said as their wings arrived. Bobbi patted his shoulder. “I was always on the job. That damn storm took everything I had. My dad died in it; he insisted on staying and working on a serial case that no one even wanted to touch. 

“After he drowned I came back to finish what he started. By the time I left, I was just a shell of myself. Here all I did was work. I worked, slept, sometimes remembered to eat…I was barely making it John. Then I got called out on this case. 

“Some drunken bastard over on West Peach Street beat the living hell out of his daughter when she jumped in to stop him from beating the hell out of her mother. Jen came down to cover the story for Crime Beat in the paper. I was coming down the steps when she called out my name. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the first time I heard her voice.”

“Did it feel like love at first sight?” John asked.

“I turned in the direction of the voice and when I saw her…” Will smiled, shaking his head as he ate a chicken wing. “She was beautiful. She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. 

“It was like the moment I saw her, a spark lit in my belly. It had been a long time John. I was barely making it; that storm took my whole life. And then Jennifer called my name and I found a reason to live again.”

“Did that scare you?”

“No, it was supposed to be. I mean c'mon, I traveled thousands of miles. I got further from New Orleans than I ever thought humanly possible. For what? I could’ve gone to Baton Rouge or Houston or even L.A. Those cities surely aren’t hurting for crime or dedicated cops. But here I am in Newberry, New Hampshire. I'm here because Jennifer’s here and someone up there must like me.”

“You really believe that?” John asked. He ate a wing too and drank more of his beer.

“I believe it more than I believe anything else. You’re in love with Kate aren’t you?”

John smiled. He smiled and his eyes were downcast. There was no point in not telling Will what he was feeling. He’d invited him out for that reason so it would be silly to clam up now.

“I think the real issue is that I'm not even sure I know what in love feels like.”

“You were married before right?”

“Laura and I were married for almost 13 years. I was 22 when I married her and I was smitten. She was pretty and ambitious and she liked me. But I feel guilty when I say now that I don’t know if we were in love. We wanted what everyone else had; family, a house, a car, the trappings of success. I couldn’t give her that so she left me. How can it be love if you don’t stick it out during the tough times?”

“Well how does Kate make you feel?” Will asked.

“I feel like I could jump off a roof and fly.” John said. “That’s not normal.”

“No, that’s pretty normal.”

“It wasn’t first sight though. That night, at the bowling alley I just thought she was attractive. There are plenty of attractive women in this town. I wasn’t dating, I kind of kept to myself, but Kate was someone new. I liked that she wasn’t from around here and didn’t have a whole portfolio of my sorry life. 

“She smiled easily and was pleasant to talk to. But that was it. It took a month for me to get up the courage to call her and ask her to have dinner. I didn’t think anything would come of it. Our first date was nice but largely uneventful. Then the next week…”

“What did it? Was it her smile, her laugh, the way she pushed her hair behind her ear.”

“It was watching her rock out to a Kiss cover.” John laughed. “It was that whole night, Will. There was a spark in the air from the moment I picked her up. She was happy and it was infectious. It made me happy; I felt like I hadn't been happy until just that moment. That doesn’t make sense though. I'm 45 years old…surely I’d been happy before that.”

“It doesn’t matter though. That was then and this is now.” Will replied. “If you love her, you better hold on to her. She seems like a great woman. She’s here for a reason.”

“Should I be so selfish to think it's me?” John asked.

“It’s not just you, though you might be part of the equation. It’s to live again. It’s to move on and find happiness. Sometimes that journey takes a long time. Other times it smacks you right across the mouth on a cold night when you're thinking you want to be anywhere but where you are. It’s not to be explained; it’s not science.”

“What do you do when you need an explanation?”

“You drive yourself insane.” Will replied. “She has a kid so that makes things a little tougher though.”

“I like her kid, Will. I want to love her kid but I'm afraid that it won't work out between us. The last thing I want to do is hurt a fragile ten year old. I do honestly think I'm the first man she’s dated that she’s even introduced him to.”

“That’s a push in your favor. Women don’t introduce the dude they're banging to their kids. This I know from a little experience.” He held his thumb and forefinger close together. “Just a little though.”

“I just worry that…” John was interrupted by his phone buzzing on his hip. He grabbed it, saw the name on the display, and couldn’t help but smile. “Hold that thought, Will. Hello there.”

“Hi.” Kate said.

“Are you still under quarantine?” he asked.

“Stanley is feeling much better. He held down a light lunch and a little dinner. Doc Rawlings said he should be back in school by Thursday.”

“I'm glad to hear that. Are you alright?”

“Fortunately it doesn’t seem to be airborne so I'm just fine. But I have disinfected the house from top to bottom just in case. So far, so good.”

“That’s good.”

“I'm sorry about Saturday.” She said.

“Don’t you dare apologize…Stanley comes first. I'm just glad it wasn’t something too bad. He’s going to be alright and that’s what's most important.”

“I don’t know if you're still at work or not but Stanley thought you might want to come over and watch _Wild Kingdom_ with him. I was going to keep him in bed but he’s been a bearable patient these last couple of days so I thought I’d give him a little treat. He didn’t want to miss Gators on the Bayou. Will you be able to come?”

“I’ll be there. I'm with a colleague but I’ll wrap it up.”

“John, I don’t want to take you away from work.” Kate said.

“You're not.”

“Are you sure?”

“I'm sure. I want to see you guys and _Wild Kingdom_ sounds great.”

“Did you have dinner? My turkey meatballs are almost done.”

“That sounds delicious. I’ll be to you in about 25 minutes.”

“OK, I’ll see you then.”

“Bye Kate.”

John hung up the phone and looked at Will. He was grinning while he ate his chicken wings.

“What's that look for?” John asked.

“I can feel your feet wanting to run out of here right now. Want another chicken wing for the road?”

“I probably should.” The detective took one. “I should show a little decorum.”

“If falling in love was about decorum it'd be no fun. I think instead of worrying about it, over thinking it, you need to be enjoying every moment.”

“We've been dating a little over two months Will. I don’t want Kate thinking I'm jumping in too fast and trying to make this something more than what it is.”

“No one ever said it wasn’t a high wire act. Christmas is next week. Buy her a gift to take her breath away. Let that speak for you. Women love gifts; it’s a known fact.”

“Yeah.” John nodded. He hadn't even figured out what he was buying Kate yet. He’d already gotten Stanley a few things even though the couple had the conversation that he wasn’t to go overboard on either one of them. 

Kate also promised him that if he bought Stanley a bike she was going to kill him. John took her seriously. He finished his Sam Adams. “Alright, I'm gonna get out of here. You make sure you get home safe Will.”

“Thanks. I'm just gonna finish these wings. They’re delicious.”

“See you tomorrow.”

Will nodded and John put his coat back on. He said goodnight to a few patrons, heading back out into the wintry night. The wind was blowing and the snow coming down a bit harder. He walked to his truck; the sidewalk wasn’t slick but a bit slippery. Luckily he had great snow tires. Winter was here to stay for a while but John always liked it so he didn’t mind one bit.

***

“Its really coming down out there.” Kate said, looking out the door once more before closing and locking it. John was shaking the snow off his coat before putting it in the front closet. “I just checked the Weather Channel and they amended it to possibly 10 inches to a foot before the storm ends.”

“Wow, we don’t usually get that kind of snow this early in the season. That doesn’t bode well for the rest of the winter. The snowfall totals have been getting higher every year.”

“I know. Buffalo has had some serious blizzards in my time.”

“Are you guys warm enough in here?” John asked, taking her into his arms. “I know the windows are old and it can get drafty. Have there been any problems?”

“I actually feel nice and warm right now.” she kissed him.

John smiled, deepening the kiss and then hugging her. He didn’t know if it was possible not to sigh with satisfaction every time he held her close.

“I put some plastic up in the kitchen; that window is particularly drafty. I called Mr. Harris and he said he would come this weekend to caulk it.”

“I’ll take a look at it after Bill does the work.” John said. “Last time I checked he wasn’t quite the handyman type but it’s his place so I’ll let him take a look first.”

They walked into the den hand and hand. Stanley was relaxing on the couch under a blanket with the solar system on it. He smiled when the couple walked into the room.

“Hey Detective John!”

“Hey kiddo. How are you feeling?”

“I feel better but still gross. I haven’t been able to eat much because my stomach is yucky. Doc Rawlings said I was gonna be OK but he couldn’t give me a lollipop since I was sick. That sucked.”

“I bet.” John sat down on the couch. “It's gonna be better soon.”

“I sure hope so cuz Mom is making roast chicken for Christmas and that’s my favorite. I have to be able to eat some. You're gonna be here for Christmas, right Detective John.”

“Well he has family too Stanley.” Kate interjected. “He keeps so busy with work this might be the only time of year that they get to see him. We can't take him away all the time.”

“Are you going away?” Stanley asked. “Where does your family live?”

“I'm from Hartford, Connecticut, which is about 200 miles from here. Most of my family still lives in that area. My sister is having a family dinner on Christmas Eve so I’ll be there with them then.”

“So you’ll spend Christmas with us?”

“I’d like that.” John nodded.

“It’s OK right Mom?” Stanley asked.

“I think it’d be wonderful. Now enjoy your show because you definitely need to get some rest after that.”

Stanley nodded and lay back on the couch. John did the same and Kate couldn’t help but watch them. They just looked so comfortable together, enjoying the show and then chatting like old friends during the commercial breaks. Stanley wanted to talk about the snow; he was so disappointed that he was sick and couldn’t go out and play in it. 

“I talked to Cate after school today and she said if we don’t have to go tomorrow then she’ll come over here. We’ll put together my Eiffel Tower puzzle.”

“I didn’t give you too much.” Kate came out with a plate of food for John. She put a glass of iced tea on the coffee table for him.

“Thank you.” he smiled. “It smells delicious.”

“I definitely hope I feel better soon.” Stanley said. “Casserole is my favorite.”

“I thought roast chicken was your favorite Stanley.” John said. He tasted the cheesy potato and broccoli casserole. It was very good.

“I have a lot of favorites.”

“He does.” Kate nodded and sat down in the chair across from the couch. “I think it’s a ten year old thing.”

Stanley nodded and laughed. His show was almost over, it was time for bed. He wanted to stay up and hang out…there probably wouldn’t be school in the morning. But his illness had made him tired and weak. 

Even though he didn’t want to, Stanley yawned. Soon enough he was saying goodnight, wrapping himself in his blanket and making his way upstairs. Stanley didn’t complain when his mother followed to tuck him in. He didn’t feel that well; wanted hugs and kisses tonight.

John turned the TV off and went for the radio instead. Kate had one of those satellite radio boomboxes on the entertainment center. It was on the soft rock station and since he didn’t know much about the selection, John just left it there. He took his dishes into the kitchen when he finished eating his dinner. Since there were dishes in the sink he filled it with water and began to wash them.

“You're washing my dishes?” Kate laughed some as she walked into the kitchen. Wrapping her arms around John from behind, she got on his tiptoes to kiss the nape of his neck.

“It’s a quirk of mine.”

“Washing dishes is a quirk?”

“My mother was a neat freak and she passed it down to me. I like clean kitchens. Not that I'm saying that your kitchen is a mess. You're just busy Kate; I don’t mind doing the dishes.”

“Thank you.” she kissed the nape of his neck again. “The snow is getting harder out there.”

“I know. As soon as I'm done this I'm going to get going.” John leaned into her, loving the way her body felt close to his.

“Actually, I talked to Stanley and we both agreed that you should stay. I don’t like the idea of you driving in this.”

“I’ll be fine, Kate.”

“I know that, because you'll be here.”

“Kate…” he turned around. John put his arms around her neck and couldn’t help but smile when he saw hers.

“No arguments.” She put her finger on his lips. “Stanley and I are in agreement. While my couch isn’t as comfortable as yours, you can sleep there. I've got some really warm blankets and comforters in the linen closet. Don’t go tonight, John. Its getting dangerous out there and we want you to stay.”

“You're really hard to say no to.” John whispered as he pulled her closer and kissed her.

“Good, I win.” Kate smiled.

“I win too. This one is a mutual win.”

“I think it is.” She nodded.

“I'm falling in love with you Kate. I'm falling hard and falling fast and I just can't help it anymore. Is that crazy?”

“Yes but I am so glad you said it. I want to be with you. I can hardly put it into words…you're different from anyone I ever met before. I love seeing you with my son. You’re the first man I even let meet him.”

“I want to be a father figure to Stanley. I want to be your man.”

“You are…you're both.”

“And we’re not going to hurt each other?” John held her tighter when he asked. He didn’t want to mess this up somehow; didn’t want to lose her.

“I bet we will once or twice. It could take some time to get it all right and I don’t ever want it to be perfect. I just want it to be us.”

He nodded and just held her tight. John felt some of the weight lifted from his shoulders. She cared about him too and wanted to be with him. She hadn't said that she was in love but John knew Kate had been hurt before. She didn’t talk about it a lot; sometimes it wasn’t what a person said but what they didn’t. 

He knew that she felt something for him and it was strong. He planned to give her the time and space to say it when she was ready. John was going to be there when she was. It wasn’t just about staying the night, which made him happy. It was about staying period.

***


End file.
